Where Have All The Humans Gone?

Where Have All The Humans Gone?
2011-11-05 03:26
Isn’t it frustrating that the humans are disappearing from everywhere just when you need them? Try solving any problem on the phone  and the hold time is incredulous (maybe because they re-route all the calls around the world). When you finally get a connection, it’s only a mechanical voice. Lately, the voice wants to know exactly why you’re calling before you can pass the test and go to the next level. Unfortunately, they never have what you need (and they’ve gotten wise to incessant babbling to try to confuse them). Now, you get stuck in an annoying message loop that says “I’m sorryI don’t understand what you mean” when you try to speak in the complete sentences that they say they can understand. They even go so far as to disconnect you if you don’t pass their multiple choice test. Then finally, if you choose wisely, the mechanical voice says “I will connect you now.” They lie! Of course, they haveno conscience so it doesn’t bother them. What they mean is “I’ll put you on hold now so you can listen to horrible music that makes you want to pull your hair out when you’re disconnected and hear “Please hang up… there appears to be a receiver off the hook.” Computers (and mechanical voices) are only as good as the people who set them up. Maybe the humans that set most of these up stay home all day sleeping waiting for the one privileged caller to get connected to them which rings their alarm clock and wakes them up because a disgruntled human got through the annoying and impossiblemessage loops and actually gets to speak to them. Sometimes, they must jump out of bed so fast that they disconnect the line. Question: If all the humans are gone in favor of computers and mechanical voices in order to save companies money, how come our bills and prices keep going up? The customers spend more time on  hold (time is money) trying to accomplish something so shouldn’t they receive at least a minimum hourly wage?

5 thoughts on “Where Have All The Humans Gone?

  1. I found them… they’re all in New York City in Times Square wearing silly 2012 eyeglasses! They’ll probably disappear by tomorrow!
  2. Yep, I tripped over them last weekend. And I don’t think they really disappeared. I think they’re somewhere in another crowd trying to blend in with those glasses or they’re back to work… hiding from us again (especially if they work for phone companies). One phone company shines above all others with their unreasonable hold times ad refusal to provide a human without a great amount of torture. Now the mechanical voice wants to know exactly what you want to talk to the human about in advance. Why? When the human finally gets on, they’re never capable of helping you with that issue so why ask? Is it another stalling tactic while the one human working in the huge corporation comes back from the restroom where they’re enjoying their own good bathroom reading? I hope they wash their hands.
  3. i ask WHY.. because IF and When you get to a human.. you have to tell them why you called AGAIN. They are clueless and got none of the information you stated to the automated machine. Just a way to keep you holding but NOT have it count as HOLD time for their call center stats! That should NOT be allowed and SHOULD count toward the customer service stats and how long you HOLD waiting for customer service!
  4. So true, tru. I just naturally assume that all questions asked on the way to pretending to give you a human are for the purpose of distracting the holder and keeping them occupied answering questions. One company goes so far as to say they will talk about your services but your answers will have NO effect on those services (in other words it doesn’t matter how much you complain… they’re not listening!). Yep, it should not be allowed… there ought to be a law as to how long you can keep customers holding on non-service lines. Anything over that should reflect as a reduction on your bill (ie, a dollar a minute… time is money and they’re usurping both with gross inefficiency and over-automation).
  5. Help! I badly need to speak to a human at TMobile. Are there any of them there? One number I call continually all of a sudden came up saying "All circuits are busy… please try again later." It's one number out of many, many, many that I call. And… it's been like this now for over a month. I've continually tried to get someone on the phone and after 2 hours of hold time, I usually give up or get another call. Yet, I've tried over and over again… all times of the day and night. Can anyone help me? Are there any humans left? I feel like I'm in that Twilight Zone where the guy finds he's the last living creature. There has to be someone out there because someone is making all these recordings. Or is that a sub-human as well?

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